No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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