I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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