I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
In America we eat man semen.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
