i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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