Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
