We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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