so let's talk penis.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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