in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
