i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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