do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
