I think I am morally bankrupt
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
