He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So squirting runs in the family.
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Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
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Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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