i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
