He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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