her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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