i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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