shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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