apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize