you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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