LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
