Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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