You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
