Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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