I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
