It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
