Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize