I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
bring money and cleavage
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize