Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
