She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize