.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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