look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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