.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
