Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
