when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
