sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize