The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
