can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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