It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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