is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
