i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
