you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
