Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
