Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
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What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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