why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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