I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
