Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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