I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize