I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
