So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
