Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
