do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
