You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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