Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
