My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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