i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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