There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
