My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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