she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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