people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
