I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This is the high leading the old right now
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
